I’M A DAD! — okay… now what?

Alright, if you’re here, you are either keeping up with Carissa’s blog, an extremely devoted friend, or obsessed with blogs.  I haven’t written in soooo long.  Sorry about that.  Be prepared for long gaps in my writing, because I don’t write often.  

A lot of things have happened since I last wrote.  I’m now working full time at East Cooper Baptist Church and I love it.  I’ll be leading worship at our second campus in North Charleston (I just can’t get out of N. Chuck.), and we’ll have a first service on January 18th.  East Cooper already has around 300 people that come to Mount Pleasant from the north area so it makes sense to just put a campus there.  The church is really putting a lot into the extension and I’m really excited about it.  One of the coolest things is that Carissa and I work together and carpool to the church every day!

Today I went with my brother-in-law, Chad, to help him move in at the Citadel.  He was so nervous, but only because he wants to do everything right.  He was supposed to lose 50 lbs. before he moved in and he did it.  He lost 60 lbs in two months.  He doesn’t even look like himself.  We’re really proud of him.

Now, for the obvious, I am going to be a DAD!  Well… I AM a dad!  Carissa is 3 months pregnant and we can’t wait to see our baby!  We find out what it is in a little over a month.  It hasn’t even clicked with me yet.  My first reaction was a little different than I expected.  Carissa had taken the test and we were waiting to see the results.  She looked at it and said, “I think it’s negative.”  Then I looked at it and I noticed, not a line in the results box, but a shading difference in the box.  I asked, “Is that a line?”,  and she said very quickly and enthusiastically, “I’m going to get another test!”  When she went downstairs, I stayed glued to the test and I watched the shading turn into a deep purple line.  She came back upstairs and I said, “Honey, your pregnant.”  Carissa absolutely FLIPPED OUT!  I just kindof stood there smiling.  I kept thinking, should I be laughing, crying, or what?  Still I have no clue.  Here’s what I rack it up to.  As a man, I associate being pregnant with having a big belly and going into labor.  My wife hadn’t changed, at least to my eye.  I think that, even when she gets a belly, it still won’t click.  I felt like I was such a jerk, but then… oh but then… I found out that almost all my guy friends felt the same way.  Thank God!  I felt so numb, and insensitive, and I wasn’t alone.  I have wanted to have kids as long as I can remember.  I don’t know what it was, but even as a teenager, I remember thinking about how, when I got older, I just wanted to get married and have kids.  Carissa and I were trying for about 5 months before it happened, so it’s not like I was surprised.  Now I’ve just resorted to being happy about the process of realization.  That’s exactly what it is for many men, and I just want to look at where Carissa and I are at in the pregnancy and take joy in the process.  There have been some brief moments where it all clicked.

The moment I most remember is when we had the first ultrasound.  Even when we first saw him (I call the baby him because it comes natural), the baby didn’t seem real because of all of the other ultrasound pictures we’ve seen from friends.  It was exciting to see my own child, and I was extremely thankful that I could see him, but the baby was a picture.  Then… the nurse did something and my baby went berserk.  The little gummy bear shaped thing in my wife turned into my child, and I was so excited.  I couldn’t believe I saw him move.  I cannot explain how cool that was.  Carissa and I talked in the car after we saw our baby and we felt like we left him on the computer monitor.  We have an appointment on tuesday, and we get to hear the heartbeat.  I’m hoping to have another moment.  Just in case you’re wondering, I want a boy.  I’ll be very happy with a girl, but I just have dreams of taking my boy fishing and teaching him all kinds of guy stuff.

Anyway, things have been different and extremely exciting.  We really feel like our life is coming together where we can rest with peace that we are where God wants us, yet kick it up a notch for the same reason.  I’ll fill you in eventually when I get motivated to write again, but I hope this satisfies some of your very outspoken requests for me to update my blog.  Thanks for being interested.

Kelly